Y’all I have finally left my husband. For the past two years we had our ups and downs. He would lie, hide things from me, physically abuse me, verbally abuse me, and Gaslight me. On Wednesday he lied to me about to going to work and went and “stayed the night with his dad” instead. After that incident, I knew things would be hard to work out, but I gave him a chance. I even gave him a chance to come clean about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING else, he said “I have nothing else to hide”. I gave him the option to come clean and we would have a fresh start, but he didn’t take that. Instead, I wake up the next morning and get on his phone. I find out he did in fact have another secret. HE HAD A SECRET SEX/PORN Snapchat. He was PAYING, yes, PAYING $10 and more for videos and photos. He was talking dirty to women and men. He tried denying the Snapchat saying “someone else is using my number, I told you this before”. But he had to have his phone to make this account because when you make a Snapchat, you are sent a code to YOUR PHONE. Not to mention one of the girls were kind enough to show me a receipt where he paid $20 for videos and photos. You can’t deny a receipt with YOUR NAME ON IT! He also fucked up and accidentally saved a photo of himself at work on that nasty ass shit.

What is sad is that I will always have scars because of him. It’s hard because I do love him, but I’ve learned that he didn’t love me or our son enough to stop his sex/porn addiction. A person can only take so much, and this was it. I’ve been dealing with his addiction for too long. I’ve given him way too many chances. I will always have a small spot in my heart for him, as he was my middle school sweetheart, and the father of our angel baby, and our soon to be born son. But he had physically and emotionally scarred me. I’m broken, confused, and can’t help but blame myself for all of this and try to find anyway to not blame him for this and make believe none of this is true.

How do I get over my abuser and a man that chose porn over me and our son?