Sept 10th, 2019: Daddy & I got to see your tiny heart fluttering in my tummy. Seeing how happy daddy looked made me feel even more excited about you. I just never thought that would be the first & last time. Although I was excited something just didn’t let me accept this pregnancy, deep down inside something just wasn’t right.......

I still don’t even know how or what happen. I just know I started bleeding really bad and started cramping bad and just knew something was wrong. So I called the on call doctor that told me to just wait it out till the morning where I could get an ultrasound done at the office. It was the longest night ever, that whole night I was in pain and discomfort. It was finally the next morning, I called the office & the ultrasound tech lady (God Bless her) was willing to skip her lunch so I could come in and get closure since they were completely booked for the day. I went in just feeling empty. As I laid on that table I just knew, I had said a little prayer while I waited for the tech but my heart just knew. She started looking, I just knew...there was nothing. Everything was just a blur, tears started rolling down my face as she continued to look and I remember just hoping that maybe she was just looking at something else first and that soon she would move on to see how the baby was doing but that never happened. I never got to see your tiny heart fluttering on the screen like I did last week. Soon after it hit me that I had to call daddy and tell him you weren’t there anymore, soon I was going to have to tell your big sister mami wasn’t going to be having a baby anymore. I was in complete SHOCK. The next two days were just Pain & Sorrow! Many may say, Oh well you were only 9 weeks and you can always try again but no that’s not the case. No one will ever know what I felt that night that every single time I had an extremely bad cramp (sharp pain) it was my body rejecting you, something that I long for for years. But I will always talk about my second pregnancy because that heart flutter I saw left it’s print in me. Mami Loves you, My forever Baby❤️