Struggling

My 2 year old is being an absolute monster today, and his tantrums/meltdowns are worse because he’s on the spectrum. I just can’t handle him today. I’m pregnant with #2 and having a bit of a quiet breakdown bc I’m absolutely terrified to have 2 kids on a day like this. My husband is wonderful and took over with our son when I literally couldn’t take it anymore. I’m lucky to have him, but I’m still so worried. I had PPD after my son, and I’ll probably have it again. I’m terrified of having those feelings and juggling a very difficult toddler and a newborn. We wanted this baby, but on days like this I wish we had not tried to conceive. I hope tomorrow is a better day... 😔