So my daughter is 6 months old and starting to cry at bedtime. She’s super busy and wants to stay awake all the time so she fights going to bed.

My husband and I agreed to do 10 minute intervals of crying and then move up if we have to. So let her cry 10 minutes, give her a pacifier and rub her back and repeat the cycle until she falls asleep.

I said I’m going to go shower for the first ten minutes. I come back out and I can’t find him anywhere... turns out he was IN THE CRIB WITH HER UNTIL SHE FELL ASLEEP 😡

I calmly asked him to never do that again. He got very defensive telling me that I’m acting like a boss telling him what to do or not do with our daughter. He also said he could not just let her cry and laying with her worked well. I explained that getting in her crib and laying with her is not helping her to learn how to self soothe. I also explained it’s not fair to me because I put her to bed 5-6 days a week because he’s working until 9 pm. So now when I go to put her to bed she is going to keep crying because she 1) needs us to lay with her or hold her to go to sleep and 2) she will think me laying in her crib with her is an option.

He rolled his eyes and went to shower. So now I’m sitting here frustrated that he did that tonight, frustrated that he made me feel like I’m a bitch for asking him to never do that, and frustrated because I don’t know how to talk to him about it so that we are on the same page.

UPDATE *

My husband and I decided on this method of CIO together. He worked all week while I was doing it, and then when he was home he helped when all of this occurred. Yes, I was upset that he didn’t follow the plan we made together and I followed through with all week. Yes, I was upset that he put our baby in danger by sleeping in the crib with her. Yes, I asked him to not go in the crib with her anymore.

We talked about it the next morning and I apologized for getting angry so quickly and he apologized for not following our plan and going in the crib. I expressed that I realize he did what he felt was right in the moment and he expressed to me that he appreciates how hard I work to teach her to self soothe and take care of her. It was hard for him to do the CIO method for the first time, but HE decided that he does want to move forward with it. I asked him if doing 5 minutes would be better and he agreed. If the next time he is home and decides he can’t follow through again, we agreed he would pick her up to rock her rather than going in the crib.

Thank you to the women who gave advice and to the women who stood up for me. I can’t believe how quickly some other women were to judge and use such harsh unnecessary commentary. If you do not believe in CIO that is totally fine, but there is absolutely no reason to put down other parents who do. It is OUR decision to make as parents. My husband works 10-11 hour shifts so I have my baby alone with no help all of the time. By the end of the day I’m so tired and my baby does not like to be rocked. Sorry I don’t want bedtime to be such a struggle anymore? I was not looking for advice on whether to do CIO or not, my focus was my frustration with my husband for not sticking to the plan we chose together and for going in the crib.

And yes, I have an amazing husband who loves me and loves our child. When he is not working he always does what he can with us. I never said I don’t appreciate that... sorry some of you don’t have that 🤷🏼‍♀️ but no reason to hate on me because I was upset with him.

UPDATE TWO **

Again, I AM NOT ASKING IF I SHOULD SLEEP TRAIN OR NOT. This is something we BOTH decided on as parents. So I guess my husband is a bitch, jerk, etc too for wanting to stick with it? This was his decision as well. If you don’t agree with sleep training - good for you 👍🏼, it’s your baby not mine!

JEM did not post this, or anyone else who commented. I am not going to say who I am because of the hateful comments being posted towards me. I don’t feel comfortable saying who I am at this point. But my god please stop saying it’s the women who are kind enough to take the time to stand up for me.