I need help.... 💔

I have been very self conscious and its getting to the point i want to starve myself again.... i have a really bad eating disorder. When i was bullied in school i starved myself and when i finished high school i got with my boyfriend and got comfortable (i started eating infront of people, i didnt care what i ate anymore) i over come starving myself. Now that i have done that i feel like ive reached a different eating habit of eating bad food. All we eat is fast food and i tried keto and other diets and i feel very stuck...

These pictures are exactly 2 years apart.

The first picture i was around 130 Pounds.

The second picture i am around 200 pounds.

I am just so depressed... I’ve lost my job, I’m always bored and i feel like i have no hope...idk what to do anymore. I don’t want to get to the point i over came years ago. I was suicidal and so depressed i couldn’t move. I feel like i am almost to that point but i want to beat this. Any advice?

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