My third baby, my first son, was born with bilateral clubfoot. We didn’t know what it was when we found out and immediately started educating ourselves.

In four days my baby will be three months old. For three months, this boy has brought us so much happiness. On that note, today has been such a hard day for me. It’s been hard for me to really accept that his clubfoot is our everyday life. I’m his biggest cheerleader, so I will always try my best to appear strong. But today, my heart is hurting. I hate seeing my son not be able to kick his feet because they have these God awful (but necessary) boots and bar on. I hate hearing him cry because mommy won’t take them off, I hate the fact that clubfoot is even a thing. In the big picture, you could say it’s “no big deal” but right now in this moment it is. I hate that this is our normal and wish I could take it from him so that he wouldn’t have to go through it. I wish he could wear the cute little footie pjs. They have Halloween ones out now, and that hurts my heart because he only gets an hour out his boots a day, so why would I buy it for just an hour a day wear? I hate that I’m feeling this way. I know it’s okay and everything will be okay. But today..I’m not okay.

(Picture from the day he came home from the hospital)