So my doctor is pretty sure I have PPA (and possibly PPD). I had depression and anxiety, and took Prozac for it, for the last 5 years. I stopped after I found out I was pregnant. I was fine my whole pregnancy.

My husband And I have been together since high school, almost been 10 years.

My daughter was planned and wanted.

I had an easy pregnancy. I was not excited for her.

I had an easy labour and delivery. I was not excited when she came.

Now that she is here, I feel awful that I don’t love her enough and I am not connected to her.

She is an extremely easy baby. Always smiling. Only cries to eat, or if she’s overly exhausted. She slept through the night since 3 weeks, so we are not sleep deprived.

Neither my husband or I feel like parents.

I feel invisible. Once you have a baby, nobody really cares about the mom anymore. It’s all “how the baby?” “Has baby started solids” “how much does baby weigh”. Or they talk only to the baby and ignore you.

The only time my mom has something to say to me is “send me a picture of the baby” “you look bloated” “your house is messy” (that’s just the way she’s always been).

At the end of my pregnancy, I had gained 22 pounds. From lack of appetite and not eating for the last 5 months, I have lost 53.

I have been to mental health intake and they are getting me started up with a psychiatrist. I am just waiting to hear back.

Has anyone gone on a medication and been able to A) continue breastfeeding, and B) not had their supply affected by it?

I exclusively pump, and I don’t want to go on any medication because I would like to continue pumping for her. (If you do formula, that’s great! I was a formula baby. I just don’t want the added expense if I don’t need it)