Downs of TTC

About 4 months ago my significant other and i decided to “stop” trying to conceive and have casual sex (i guess you could say casual idk) but for the past 3 months I’ve been a week late on my period. I get excited and buy multiple pregnancy test and end up starting the very next day. I go through a depression spiral for a good 2-3 weeks before I feel somewhat “okay”. Mentally I can’t take anymore but I continue anyways. How do you guys cope with this every month ? I need to find a way to help myself through this. 😭 Any suggestions ?