I’ve talked with a few of my coworkers and friends and it seems to be a really common thing, but I’m just not so sure anymore. I’m a cop in the military. I joined right out of high school I finished my training and got to my first duty station less than half a year ago. I carry a pistol on my leg everyday and a rifle slung on my chest. There are times where I’ll be in the restroom washing my hands looking at myself in the mirror and think to myself “I could really shoot and kill myself in this very moment and no one could stop me because I’m by myself” all I would have to do is unholster my pistol put it up to my head and pull the trigger. literally just pull the trigger because we carry our pistols on fire and one in the chamber ready to lay down hate. Im not depressed, yes I get sad every now and then but who doesn’t. Being in the military is a lonely life. I went from living with my parents, being surrounded by people ivegrown up with, my biggest worry my math test at the end of the week. To getting yelled at for the smallest thing, carrying weapons every day, long hours, little money, so far away from everything and everyone I’ve ever known, and ready to give my life up to protect someone else’s. I don’t regret joining I love it. But I was talking with a civilian friend and they said they have never felt like that. Idk if it’s a military my career field thing because this happens to almost everyone at some point.