breakups

i’ve been with someone for 5 years on and off. breaks, breakups, arguments, everything. during the breaks and breakups we still kept in contact and even hung out & had sex (yes i know, my mistake 🙄) but a lot has been going on and i’m starting to see this isn’t working. along the way things got difficult, my feelings got pretty much hurt by his actions. i’m not perfect and not trying to make him seem bad, but honestly i just don’t think we’re meant to be. i know relationships go through stuff but honestly it’s just been too much lately. he’s been talking to a counselor but this has been going on so long, it’s too late. she had ideas to get us straight, she tried to give us books but honestly we both didn’t put in effort, so it’s on the both of us. she said he has “spells” (anger, selfishness, rudeness) but those spells affect me, they make me think otherwise. 😩. with all the breakups this is the first time i felt like i need to do this, i became too dependent on him, and all the memories we’ve shared kept us together, trying to work on things. it’s hard...moments i feel like i can do it but i realize this is forever. i can’t mask the issues we have.

my question is, had anyone experienced this? have you felt like you were relying too much on the length of your relationship and attachment to each other? did the thought of moving on scare you? i need some wisdom and support even if you don’t relate. posting anon but if you’re willing to chat let me know please ❤️