Apologies if this gets long, I’ll try to keep it short. Basically my sister and I have always been super close- she’s 30 and I’m 28.

We haven’t really spoken for over 6 months and it’s really starting to break me. We fell out because she (and a close friend) kicked me out of a band that we were both in- it was her, me, and a close friend, and we’d been playing gigs together for 13 years. I had a few slip ups over the past year that saw me cancel rehearsal at the last minute and I also was unavailable for 4 shows between Feb and March this year, but I gave plenty of prior notice about not being able to play during that time. I didn’t really think it would be a huge issue as we all have other commitments and have made allowances like that plenty of times for each one of us in the past. When we got asked to play these 4 shows, I reluctantly agreed to a session musician playing the gigs with the rest of the band so we didn’t have to turn them down anyways.

A month later, they fired me via text, with the reason being lack of commitment. I won’t go into everything here but TRUST when I say I was 10000% committed. I gave up practically half of my life to the band and sacrificed a tonne of stuff- including relationships and friendships due to lack of time to maintain them- to be able to play shows all over the world with my sister, and I loved it more than anything.

Anyways, we hadn’t spoken since that all went down. I was waiting on her to reach out as I felt I was owed an apology, but I ended up reaching out to her in June as time was passing by and I wanted to resolve things between us. She texted me a reply saying she wanted to meet up and basically pick up where we left off, before everything had happened, and said not to reply if I was going to be negative. I texted back that I couldn’t just pretend all of that didn’t happen and that I did have some things I’d like to discuss, both about the band and about some personal issues that came up during the same time, but also said that I didn’t want to argue at all, I just wanted to work at our relationship and the issues that are there so we could just move on. She never replied. I texted her again about a month ago to say that I really thought our relationship would have been on the mend by now and that waiting around not knowing if she even wanted to sort things out was painful for me. I said if she didn’t want a relationship then there’s not much I can do, but I needed to know if I was waiting on something or nothing. She still didn’t reply.

I just don’t know what to do from here. It breaks my heart that she’s just shunned me like this, and part of me wants to just wash my hands of her and move on without her but I do miss her and I do want to understand what happened to cause this rift. I feel awful that my parents haven’t had us together for their wedding anniversary, birthdays, for both mine and her birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, etc. I feel horrible that they have to choose who to see first on Christmas day, and that they can’t just enjoy the day with both of their kids. It kills me that my son is forgetting who his aunt is so much that he doesn’t recognise her in photos anymore.

Do I keep waiting? Do I ask my parents to speak to her? Do I just leave her alone and be done with her? I really don’t know what else I can do at this point :(