I just started crying..

Hoku 💕

I woke up late today because of this annoying headache and my acid reflux is acting up. I went to the kitchen, prepared my food while listening to my playlist, i know i am calm when I woke up, and I am not stressed out, and so i did my usual routine, watch my variety show and play with my dogs, my back hurts and my headache is still here. Anyway, i was browsing thru my facebook "my day" and I saw my friend's newborn son, and I was smiling.. So, I went on YouTube and search for newborn videos and I watched a couple videos, and i just started getting teary eyed.. And started crying and then I thought of my cousin finally getting pregnant after failed ivf's and my sis-in-law who is pregnant with her second, and here i am still waiting for my time.. I honestly just feel like i will not get pregnant anymore, i feel like i wont be able to experience to be a mom. And its sad, but i lose hope already and now, i don't believe in miracles anymore. But, i am still praying and i will stay positive.

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