does anyone else live with their mentally ill family and suffer greatly because of it? (all of my siblings have actually been diagnosed but my parents aren't the type to do that) because my siblings and parents all have erratic violent traumatizing meltdowns that ive witnessed my entire life. we've comforted each other whenever something happens but i realized im alone.

im taking fluoxetine and it helped initially but everything has been slowing falling apart bc my family is so difficult to live with. i also see a therapist and i cant reveal everything obviously but it does help me. i dont want to tell my doctor and have the dosage be increased bc it'll probably be a temporary thing. i cant leave bc i have no money no car yet and no where to go. i just have been barely making it through. ive expressed my collapse in motivation to exist to my mom but she just yells at me.

my extended family members are pretty much the same and my cousins deal with similar issues. my friends would probably be there for me but eventually convince me to just go back home.

i know i need to be patient and just try to stay positive but im surrounded by monsters that WANT me to just unravel and be unhappy and it's so so hard to shine through that. i just want something to happen. i want something to happen and change my life for the better.

at best, my family is amazing. i love to see everyone being their best. they aren't always at their worst tbh but it's rare to be in their presence when they are at their best. but i cant make anyone be or do anything. i just have to save up and get out for the sake of my own mentality and happiness. it's so hard for me right now. i just needed to get this off of my chest and vent a little. wish me luck pls.