Happy birthday to me

It’s my 36th birthday today and the day my period is due. I would’ve had a beta today (2nd IUI) but am at work so couldn’t go in. The clinic told me to test on the 3rd October. I really wanted a positive but I’ve been testing over the last few days (last test was Sunday morning, my insemination and ovulation was 17th September) on One Step pregnancy tests and every single one has been negative. My period won’t start until I stop the progesterone. I will test on Thursday morning as they said and if it’s still negative, will stop the Cyclogest and my period should start.

It’s just disappointing. And not even because we’ve been trying for years... I’m in a same sex relationship so we can’t just try. We can’t just see if it happens naturally. And we have already spent thousands and thousands of pounds with nothing to show for it.

Today is my birthday and I just feel sad.