Hi. I am just so exhaused, I want to cry all the time and I do cry all the time. I love my husband to death, and I dont want to live my life without him as I have never felt more loved.

It took me 3 years to convince my husband to try for a child, since he didnt really want any kids, but I could imagine going through life without being a mom at some point. Just that process was heartbreaking, as I felt I was breaking us by forcing kids on him.

We have now been trying to conceive for 2 years, I have turned 37, with no where near a positive test. He dont want any <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">ivf</a>, as he is really afraid of a negative result on him (understandably now after all this time), in addition to a massive fear of doctors with understandable reasons. He wants to do this the natural way, I don’t know what to do, and I just feel so trapped in this hopeless situation, I have developed a massive social anxiety and I feel like I have dragged my husband in the gutter with me. I know I am more than lightly depressed, but my husband is as bad as I and I feel like shit for doing this to him. I have told my friends, about my situation, which was really hard, but instead of feeling like they might help me get through it, I now feel even worse after I have seen them. I completely break down. They are all so busy with their kids and being pregnant which of course took no time, and I feel even more alone, and I now I avoid seeing them. I have tried to go to a psychologist, but I don’t think it has helped. Has anyone else felt like ttc is ruining their lives, their marriage and friendships?