Advice please

I’ve been in a relationship for 3 years. Been cheated MULTIPLE times, talked down to, I barely wear makeup, I don’t like dressing up Bc he took that from me. He took my confidence away. He financially, mentally, emotionally abuses me. I’m stuck here with my son Bc I don’t have family support. He recently did me dirty once again. He punched the walls. I felt like that was it. I have lost all feelings for him. He doesn’t appreciate me, respects me, nor gives me attention. I crave attention from other guys. I feel so guilty for feeling this way but it’s happening. I’m not sure what to do. I know most of you will say leave but I have to actually have a plan. I refuse to put my son in a shelter. Any advice about me craving attention from other guys? Is that wrong?