Do you hate for you SO to ask for sex?

Question

So I admit I have a bad habit that when my husband wants sex I say no. About 85% of the time. And I'll also admit I do it because when he puts me on the spot by asking I get nervous and embarrassed to say yes, when I actually do want it. So most the time we end up not having sex and I'm sitting over there feeling like a horrible wife. Well last night was our second night in our new house and I'm laying there in panties and my t-shirt, my 21 week pregnant belly, our oldest daughter sleeping so soundly in the room next door with minions on TV. And he looks over at me and says "wanna have sex" and I immediately say "no." As time went by I try to be seductive, without just saying yes I wanna have sex. I rubbed his chest and stomach, played with his beard, rubbed my bare legs over his and NOTHING. Finally at around midnight I crashed and when I woke up to find I had not had sex I was kinda pissed off, though it was ultimately my fault, and I wasn't upset with him I was mad at myself. I want to stop being embarrassed about wanting to have sex or wanting to give him a blowjob or pleasure him and idk how to do this. I've been with this man for over 8 years with two kids and one on the way. You would think I would be over it. I can shower with him, I pass gas in front of him, I eat like a hog, and even use the bathroom while he's standing in the doorway having a conversation with me. But for the love of God I can't have sex with my husband when I WANT to. Is anybody else the same way?

Answer

If I was your husband I would be mad for getting a no 85% of the time js

Answer

Maybe talk to him and tell him it’s just a turnoff to be flat out asked for sex. Maybe it would be better if he just instigated it by kissing you or attempting to seduce you. It’s possible his lack of effort in just saying “want to have sex” is turning you off and I don’t blame you for feeling like that!

Answer

By that point he’s already been told a very vocal and a very cold “no”,he’s now hurt and his ability to pick up those cues from you are shut off temporarily. 
From experience, being told no 85-90 percent of the time,and still having to always be the initiator, can be emotionally exhausting. 
Men want to be wanted too. We want to see your interest, your appreciation, your love, your affection.
Ladies, do your men a solid and be more direct or initiate on his level.

Answer

You cant be pissed off at him for doing nothing (and actually respecting you) when you clearly said no. Men aren't that deep, they won't understand if you say one thing and then do another thing. You need to COMMUNICATE this to him. Talk to him and tell him what's going on and that you feel embarrassed. You two together can come up with a solution for it then so you won't feel embarrassed. Also, it's really sad that you turn him down 85% of the time. Just talk to him! He's your husband, communicate how you're feeling and what you're thinking. If you do wanna have sex then initiate more, start rubbing his penis

Answer

Just talk to him and tell him exactly that. Communication is everything

Answer

Just go down on him first before the awkward want to have sex question happens, or grab his hand and place it on your private areas. Don’t speak words, just try new things. Either way, a bj/hj or him being able to finger you will allow more of a connection between you too. 
Or if you guys can’t talk just text him that you want his hard **** before he asks lol 😆  👍🏻

Answer

Talk to your husband and tell him exactly what you told us. He may be able to help. I think he is just being respectful of your answer. If you said you don’t want to have sex and then try to seduce him you can’t blame him for not getting the hint. 
Just ask him that instead of asking you like that he may just try to touch you. Or something. Come up with a plan for the both of you. But COMUNÍCATE

Answer

Find a different way of telling him! You're giving him mixed signals I'm suprised he hasn't lost his mind yet. You can't give him a firm NO then try to seduce him. He's being a gentleman and respecting your decision. You said no so he isn't gonna even try. If you cannot verbalize your wants do it another way. Leave him little messages in the house you know only he will find. Send him sexy gifs while he's at work. Write hil a love note and put it in his work bag. Something! You're denying the both of you pleasure and love why!? Just find a different way.

Answer

I would tell him how it makes you feel. Maybe have him start Turing you on by kissing you on your neck and playing with your hair.. something that gets you going that can lead up to you guys having sex

Answer

It's the way he is approaching sex.. wheres the seduction? I wouldnt be too thrilled if my husband said it like that.

Do you hate for you SO to ask for sex?

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