I feel utterly broken. My boyfriend and I ended things after 3 years together because I felt like we became two different people. I noticed the last few months were extremely difficult because he would harass me everyday if I was talking to any of man which I wasn’t. I’ve been busy with school and work and trying to improve my relationship. So I went to see him the other day to give him the last of his stuff, mind you he lives right up the street from me. :-) He admitted he lied for 3 months to scare me to stay with him and watched me turn into the worst version of myself. I had to go back to therapy because I went crazy for having uncalled for guilt. I’m still in shock that this is even a real situation or that I’m even going through it. I’m tired of crying and repeating it over and over in my head.

I think about moving on because I know there’s better and I tried and it was nice to dip my toes back into the water. I wouldn’t say I’m 100% sure I’m ready to jump in. But I think about this and my mind always wanders to him. Is he with someone and that’s why it’s so easy for him to let go of me? Thinking about it makes me feel like I’m being stabbed a thousand times. I just want to be over this and be happy again. I miss enjoying life and genuinely smiling.