Hi guys. I really need some help. I was diagnosed with anorexia 7 years ago and considered myself recovered (although it never leaves you, food did not control my every waking thought) until about 6 months ago. Now, every second of the day is controlled by thoughts of food. I have lost over a stone in weight and am getting bad. I exercise before everything I eat, avoid meals, plan foods which are laxatives etc. All that matters is losing weight. I want to be able to eat again without guilt. I dream of a 3 course meal without having to starve myself before or after. I don't know how the hell to break the cycle.