Masturbation is an important part of a girls education and growing up. It teaches her about her body, sexual response and orgasms. It teaches her how and where to touch and rub for an orgasm. Trying to figure out how to orgasm with a partner without knowing how to make herself orgasm, is very difficult.

An orgasm is the climax of a process that can take from a minute or two, to hours. It begins with sexual arousal, where blood flows into your genitals, they swell up and open up and you become hot, wet and slippery down there.

When you get sexually stimulated past this point, tension will build in the muscles around your vagina, anus (your pelvic floor), uterus, thighs and pelvis. Your breathing and heart rate will increase rapidly. As the stimulation continues, signals from your genitals will flow through multiple nerves into your brain.

As you approach an orgasm, the tension in your muscles and the stimulation in your brain can become overwhelming. This can cause spasms, involuntary movements and vocalization, and sometimes it will feel like your orgasm starts, but it will just disappear again. Your rapid breathing, blood flow and tension can become agonizing and all you will want is to release all that energy that is building up in your body and brain. You may feel the urge to pee, as your bladder fills up rapidly, and you may experience a series of spasms.

When the tension and stimulation to your brain becomes overwhelming, your brain will shut down into a trance like state for a second or two, allowing the tension and energy to leave your body in an orgasm. This will happen in waves of intense pleasure, contractions, heat and involuntary spasms starting in your genitals and radiating outwards from there.

After a few seconds, the contractions will slow down and finally stop, leaving you happy, relaxed, satisfied and glowing. Many women describes the point where their orgasm start as a twinkling or a sparking, or electricity buzzing in their clitoris, or and intense, warmth starting in their uterus, from where the orgasm progresses outwards in waves.

The involuntary spasms can happen in any part of your body as orgasm comes closer. It can make your feet contract, or your hands grabbing, it can make your body roll or waves rippling through your body, it can make your head move and bob. If you could see yourself in this state, it would look like you are in pain and in agony. It seems like the facial expressions during intense pain and intense pleasure is more or less the same. How weird is that?

Typically, the phase leading up to your orgasm is a phase where your muscles absorbs energy. It can make your body curl inwards, and your head lift. During your orgasm, just the opposite happens. Your body releases all that energy, and your body may curl backwards with your head thrown back as the energy is expelled.

It is worth mentioning that by far the majority of women needs clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Simultaneous vaginal penetration can increase the pleasure, but the clitoris is the primary sex organ that makes women orgasm. For this reason, it is also much more difficult for most women to orgasm from just intercourse. Couples need to learn how to get enough stimulation to the woman’s clitoris to make her orgasm during intercourse.

Most women can also orgasm multiple times, either by taking a short break after orgasm every, or by just continuing stimulation without a break.

All orgasms are also not the same. Your emotional and mental state can play a large role, as can the phase of your menstrual cycle you are in. Some are just a light tremor, others are powerful earthquakes rocking your world. This is totally normal.

A technique called edging can help to give you more powerful orgasms. You edge by stimulation until you are close to orgasm, and then briefly stopping before continuing the stimulation again. When you repeat this a few times, the tension and energy can build to incredible levels.

Most women can feel the orgasm contractions with a finger around the vaginal entrance, on the perineum or just lightly resting a tip of a finger on the anus. The contractions during an orgasm starts fairly rapidly and the pulse becomes longer and weaker as it goes on.

During the orgasm, chemicals and hormones are released into your brain and body, creating a feeling of wellbeing and relaxation. It can be a good idea to just spend a few quiet moments with yourself as your body returns to normal. Meditate and think about good and positive thoughts, maybe even take a short nap.

After an orgasm, most women will feel relaxed, content, happy and some will describe a feeling of “glowing”.

Lastly, no discussion of orgasms will be complete without a discussion of fluids that we produce during arousal and orgasm.

• Arousal fluid – When blood flows into the vaginal walls, plasma is squeezed from the cells. This is wet and slippery, clear and without any smell or taste. This fluid is what makes penetration possible.

• Bartholin glands: Two small glands next to the vaginal entrance secretes a clear or milky slipper and sweet tasting fluid during arousal and just before orgasm. The purpose is not known, but it is thought to be to sanitize and lubricate the vaginal entrance.

• Skene’s glands: Two small holes next to the urethral opening (pee hole). These glands secretes a fluid similar to male semen, produced from the paraurethral glands (glads around the urethra) or female prostate glands. It is thought that all women secretes fluid from these openings, some only a drop, others more. The maximum amount secreted from here is a teaspoon or two milky or clear, sweet tasting fluid, similar in quantity, texture and color to male semen. This is called female ejaculation.

• Urethra (pee hole) – Sometimes, female ejaculate can also exit from the pee hole. More common is gushing or squirting. This is larger quantities of watery fluid (cups) coming from the bladder. This can happen during penetration, orgasm from penetration or the clitoris, or really any other time. This urine can also contain some female ejaculate. It may come out clear and without any smell. Letting it dry will bring out the urine smell. It also does not taste particularly good.

Earlier scientific studies confused the terms “female ejaculation”, and “squirting” or “gushing” without making any distinction between it. Today we know from many studies that the type and source of the fluid is different between these two phenomena. There is no explanation on why the bladder fills up rapidly during sexual stimulation, but it can be seen on MRI and ultrasound studies that were done on women during sexual arousal. This release can bring incredible pleasure to women during sexual stimulation.

The majority of women do not experience female ejaculation, squirting or gushing when they orgasm. And even if you do experience any of this, you may not do it every time. The term “cum” or “cuming” for a woman is most often used to describe getting an orgasm, not excreting a fluid like for males.

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