Episiotomy - depressed

So my baby is a week old, my stitches have fully opened leaving a nasty hole. I’m in so much pain, I can’t help but look at baby and feel hate and resentment I love her so much and I want that bond to be there. I’ve been told that it will heal on its own but none of the pain medication is helping and I feel like it’s probably infected or going to. Also just broke up with my partner, abusive and telling me our baby isn’t even his I had to ring the police to get him removed from my house. Everything is just going wrong for me 😭

Anyone experience this with their episiotomy