Moral Dilemma...

I have a 2 year old, and a 4 month old. I occasionally make a reference to having another baby in the future and my husband always changes the subject or rolls his eyes. So finally I asked him outright if he ever wants another baby.... and he told me he doesn’t want any more children. I was heartbroken because I didn’t know when I had my last baby that she would really be the last. I wasn’t ready to be done.

That being said, since I want another baby and he does not, I don’t feel I should be the one responsible for birth control. I told him I’m not taking it and that I didn’t want anything to interfere with my breastfeeding at this time anyway. He’s aware I’m not taking the birth control, however continues to have unprotected sex with me. He is using the “pulling out” method... which was the same method he was using when we had our first daughter haha!

Is it wrong of me to initiate sex around when I’m ovulating when he KNOWS I am not taking birth control? Should I have to be keeping track of that for him? It doesn’t seem fair I have to walk on egg shells/avoid sex if I’m in the mood because he doesn’t want to use protection. Should I have any obligation to take preventative measures because he doesn’t want any more kids? I feel like it should be on him since we want different things.

I also feel like I will regret not having another baby much more than he would regret if we did. He is an amazing father to our girls... and he’s a wonderful husband as well. He says he’s too old to have more kids which I think is just a cop out (he’s 37 currently).

I’m not trying to be manipulative... but it’s pretty painful to accept I’m never going to have any more kids when I want more... and then still have to be the one in charge of making sure that doesn’t happen. I feel like if he doesn’t want kids he should be the one doing all the work to make sure that doesn’t happen, not me.

I know my husband and if we DID have more another baby he would love that child with every fiber of his being... that’s the kind of man he is.

Just looking for opinions!

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Update: And to the people saying it’s awful and acting like I’m a terrible person, I’d like to clarify. My husband is very much aware I’m not using birth control... I didn’t mean that I would initiate sex during ovulation as a manipulative tactic to get pregnant... I realized that was how it sounded after I re-read my post. I am in fact not in favor of getting pregnant currently as I have a 4 month old. I more meant should I have to be in charge of avoiding sex at certain times to appease him when he’s the one not using protection WHILST aware I’m not using birth control. It just doesn’t seem fair to me when he knows I want more children that I have to be the one keeping track and informing him of when it is/is not okay to have sex.

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Also, Jazmin, there’s no such thing as “compromise” when it comes to having more children. We can’t have half a baby. We either have another or don’t. But thanks for the opinion.

And Zindaagi... we did have a discussion before marriage. We have been together 10 years and he always knew I wanted a big family... but like humans sometimes do, he apparently changed his mind and I was not prepared for that. And yes, if he did take responsibility I would accept that although it is painful. But I feel that he should take responsibility if that is what he wants, not me.