😓😓😓

I’m so upset. I don’t think I’ve had a midwife i particularly like yet, they all say different things and make me feel stupid when I ask questions. I went for an appointment at 20 weeks and she asked me have you had any thought of what kind of birth you want/ pain relief I want? This is my first I have no idea about anything. I know my sister in law had a water birth and so I mentioned a water birth, she said I could book in at the birth centre to have a look around etc as they don’t do water births at the hospital, she told me to contact the birth centre to book in to have a look around... I emailed the birth centre and they come back to me saying they don’t usually book people in until they are firther along(24-28 weeks)- i was 20 weeks at the time.... and they explained at my next midwife appointment that they will talk to me about my options when it comes to giving birth and that they will get me booked in if that’s what I chose to do. so I ended up going to my next midwife appointment at I think 24 weeks and she basically asked the routine questions and checked my urine and I was in and out in 5 mins... I had been told at that appointment they talk to me about my options for the birth, however she didn’t and told me to book in at the birth centre if I wanted to book in. Anyway I rang the birth centre straight away and booked in for 15th and 17th of October, on the 15th you have a look around the rooms and they go through what pain relief & breathing techniques and on the 17th the health visitor comes round. I was excited.... just been told this morning my husband can’t make it.... so I rang the birth centre to hopefully rearrange and she said there is nothing until 10th and 12th December. I just started bawling my eyes out down the phone to her. I don’t think she knew what to say lol.

I feel so down at the moment I have not many people to talk to and I am really scared and feel like no body is taking me seriously.

Sorry if non of this makes sense I’m really upset and just wanted to get it off my chest really.