My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Throughout the relationship I have always felt that something was missing, sexually. He can make me orgasm but there's always something else missing, I really can't explain it. During sex I want to be dominated, not just rough sex or choking/spanking, I want more! "Yes Master" and Whips!

There have been a few times I've asked him to spank me or choke me, to try and get something, some spark, but it still doesn't do anything for me. He's not dominant enough. I've brought up the topic of BDSM before in subtle way and he seems rather against it.

Basically, I want to be sub. And my boyfriend, who I honestly do love with all my heart, isn't into the lifestyle.

I'm unsure what to do, I've been repressing these feelings for a long time and it's making me really sexually frustrated.

Any advice on handling this? I feel like there's no win-win option.