Feeling hopeless this cycle

I’ve been trying to conceive forever and a day........this would be kid number. I know I am crazy for even trying. Ok here is the background on my cycle I’m normally 28-30 days I stop temping and using ovulating test because i was just so over disappointment. This cycle my period started September 19th ended September 21st. My period normally last 5 days tested negative. Ok so I don’t know when I ovulated I had spotting October 7 and 8 pink as ever. Only when I wiped and it was like every other pee TMI. Ok I tested October 11th negative my period is due around October 18th or 19th should I even bother testing again? I don’t know what to do at this point. Maybe this is a rant maybe someone experienced this but I had to get it off my chest.