After a whirlwind few days I’ve finally found myself 5 minutes to have a cup of tea and think about my baby’s birth ♥️ it’s a long one 🙈😂

We popped into hospital on Wednesday at 38+6 as she hadn’t moved much in the night so we were concerned. All checked out well at the hospital with exception of the growth scan estimating her to be a bit bigger - roughly 9lb 6oz so they transferred me from low risk midwife led care to consultant led care to be induced. At the time I was really upset about this because I’d envisioned a water birth and with really bad SPD the last image I had of birth was laying on my back on a bed with my legs propped apart.

I was given 2 sweeps (Wednesday then again Thursday) to see if labour could be started naturally and told I was about 4cm dilated and my cervix was favourable so we went home hopeful I’d just go into labour and we could make our way to the hospital because any medical induction would be done. We were told we would be called in on the Friday but there weren’t any beds so we went in Saturday morning instead.

I was gutted when I got checked as baby had slipped little bit further back so I was more 2-3cm, i was given a prostin tablet about 10am to try help me dilate some more. This seems to work almost right away, and I gradually built up some pretty painful back contractions. I made sure to either stand or bounce on a birthing ball and try to not just sit or lay on the bed. I was warned they could be but these early contractions were pretty intense but they started to move around to my front where they became much more bare-able then they started to subside completely so I was worried labour had stalled and we’d have to try again. When the midwife checked me though she was pleased as I’d moved to 5cm and could be transferred to delivery to have my waters broken.

We went through to delivery about 6:30pm and my waters were broken (and what a weird sensation that was!!!) and from there my contractions took straight off so I didn’t need the drip. I thought the contractions off the back of the prostin tablet were strong they were nothing compared to these ones. I managed until about 8:00pm just breathing then I tried the gas and air. I didn’t do well on this to begin with as I wasn’t taking it right and as lovely as the first midwife looking after me was it wasn’t until they changed shift and a new midwife took over that she showed me how to take it effectively. This definitely helped me and mixed with some controlled breathing I managed to get through the contractions okay (with exception of a few where I didn’t sort my breathing out and ended up having a couple of wobbles).

The midwife checked me about 10:30pm and said I was 9cm so we’d have another half hour or so and think about starting to push. Once I was 10cm about 11:15pm I got into a sitting/laying position on the bed and started pushing. I’d tried a few positions and as much pain as I was in anyway the pelvic pain from SPD didn’t come into it so legs apart on the bed ended up being most comfortable for me surprisingly. The pushing part took some time, I pushed for 2 and a half hours, it was so exhausting I started falling asleep between contractions and pushes.

I started struggling near the end due to exhaustion, the midwife had to use a catheter and empty my bladder for me, and once baby’s head started to emerge it turned out she was coming out with an arm up by her face so I had to have an episiotomy to make room inside and out. It took some time for the head to be delivered and the more time that passed the more panicky I started getting about forceps/vacuum or surgery being needed but my SO was amazing encouragement and supported me perfectly at this point to push her out before anyone was called. We stopped the gas and air about 30 mins before she was actually born because I was relying on it too much whereas I needed to focus on regaining my breath to push so looking back I’m amazed at how I did this part with no pain relief but I guess things are that numb you don’t notice so much.

Our little girl entered the world at 1:58am and it was such a magical moment holding my baby for the first time but in a lot of ways I feel like it was a bit of an out of body experience because I didn’t feel like I was truly there. There were a couple of issues from here though, first of all the placenta struggled to detach, despite having the injection it took a little while and fortunately it came out just as she was about to call one of the doctors but I ended up bleeding quite a bit (they were already annoyed because one of my blood tests whilst pregnant came back that my iron was low so I should’ve had been given iron, as a result of this being missed I was anaemic by time I gave birth). Then after this the anaesthetic I was given for my episiotomy to be stitched simply did not work. I don’t know why but every suture tore through me and the sensation of the thread being pulled through my skin each time will never leave me, they’d already given me the maximum amount they were allowed to though. This was possibly the worst part for me my SO was panicking because I was crying in pain so much that I kept pulling baby tightly to my chest without realising so he was continually trying to keep her nose free whilst holding/reassuring me.

Once all was done though we were given a couple of hours to spend time with each other and our little girl and bond with her. After this the midwife set about cleaning the room and encouraged me to go and shower, never have I appreciated my partner more than in this moment. At the absolute worst I have ever physically looked or felt he just did everything showering and cleaning me up as I was very shaky and weak from all the blood loss / tiredness.

From here I was transferred to a ward and he was sent home, this was hard because I really didn’t want him to leave and hate that he lost out of those couple of precious hours where our baby slept contently and I could just watch her.

All in all, I found it such a tough but empowering experience. I’m so proud of myself and my SO, finally home now and drinking in every single minute of it 🥰♥️

Maisie Louise

8lb 5oz

13.10.2019