My fucked up life

I don’t understand how it’s so easy for other people to have babies, I mean I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me, but it’s just never easy for me to get pregnant. I start thinking back to things I may have done in the past that can affect me now, when I was younger I was sexually abused a lot, people would always make me take plan Bs after they would be done with me there’s been times where I ended up with clamidia, or times I was just forced on birth control which would fuck up my body. (I don’t know if it’s okay or anyone would even wanna hear my story of being a sexual assault survivor of many attacks so I’m not gonna explain that much about that on this post, I don’t mind sharing and I actually want people to know my story but that more depends on the people reading this post) I just really want a baby but I’m scared that my past traumas has fucked me up. I’m on prenatal vitamins and tracking my body but it’s like what ever I do no matter the amount of times me and my boyfriend try it’s like it’s doing nothing to me I’ve been pregnant before but that was back when I was 16 and that ended up In a miscarriage