I am seeing a maternal fetal specialist and went in for my appointment with the diabetes counselor/dietician. I have gestational diabetes and have been having problems with my fasting numbers. She is going to up my medicine and insulin. But before we were done she had to remind me the if I don’t do better I’m gonna end up having a stillborn. Thanks! Now that’s in my mind and I’m so upset 😭

Afterwards I went in for an ultrasound and apparently the tech was having problems seeing my baby’s heart last time during the anatomy. (This was never mentioned until now) so after a few pics she tells me the Dr will be in and talk about the baby and about the fact they still are having problems getting good pics. She had just told me her heart rate was 151 and looked good. So at this moment I’m starting to get a little nervous while waiting for the dr 😐

The Dr comes in and says the same thing about them having some difficulty getting good pictures of the heart so I’m being referred to a pediatric cardiologist to get a better look because they will have more patience and will be able to focus on just the heart. Since I have diabetes I’m at a higher risk of my baby having a heart defect. (Freaking out again) She continues and said that it was not a concern at the moment that that’s why they wanted me to see the cardiologist to just get reassurance my baby’s heart is doing good because overall she is growing the way she is suppos ed to be. (1lb10oz)

Well I left the office and on my drive back home I couldn’t help but start getting emotional and cry feeling like I’m a horrible mom. I have been having bad few days up and down emotionally. And this was the cherry on top. Now I will be worrying until I see the cardiologist.

With my first I also had diabetes and wasn’t referred to the cardiologist. Idk if it’s because I was diagnosed later in the pregnancy and since this time around I was tested and diagnosed early in my pregnancy. Seriously I’ve been a wreck this pregnancy. I’m told it’s just in my head. I want time to fly so I can hold my baby in my arms and forget all this. 🥺