My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. We just recently moved in together and got a puppy!! A year ago, in September my Grammy passed away. She was my absolute best friend. We did everything together and even lived together for the last 5 years of her life so I could help take care of her after my Grampy passed away. Losing her turned my life COMPLETELY upside down. There is not one single thing on this earth that I wouldn’t do to have her back. I think about her alllll day everyday and part of me thinks this is all part of the grieving process while the other part of me thinks I need to talk to someone. I have no other family as I just recently stopped talking to my parents. (That’s a story in itself) it makes living without my Grammy EVEN harder. To make a long story shorter, today we brought our puppy over to my boyfriends grandparents house. I really like his grandparents. I don’t see them often because I work in a hospital third shift and go to grad school during the day. So my days are long and busy. Today when we went to see them I talked to them and laughed with them but deep down my heart was hurting. I just kept thinking how I wish my Grammy was here to meet the puppy and my boyfriend. How she would love them so so much, I’ve had dreams about it too. I just sat there thinking about it but still tried to be happy. I’m thankful my boyfriend still has his grandparents because I don’t want him to ever experience this pain. I just feel so jealous and angry and I don’t want to be!! I want to be happy for him!! After in the car he kept asking me if I was okay and I told him yes and just squeezed his hand tight. I want to love going over there, don’t get me wrong I do enjoy it. But when it’s time to leave my heart just gets so heavy. It’s like when I would say goodbye to my grandparents and they’d watch me leave from the driveway. I’m thankful for them and I’m thankful I get so see them but it’s not my grandparents. I know I probably sound so selfish right now and truly that’s not my intentions. Maybe I just need uplifting thoughts or maybe some advice on how I can help myself? Here’s a picture of our sweet boy❤️