My boyfriend and I broke up yesterday. I just am really struggling, this is my first relationship and I needed to end it. I still love him and I think that’s what I’m finding really hard is that. It wasn’t because I lost feelings for him it was the fact that I had these expectations for us and I never thought it would change. I never thought his mum liked and I never felt welcome in his family that was a big thing for me. I thought I could put up with it but after almost two years it kept getting to me. We saw each other maybe once or twice a week, and it felt like for him being 45 minutes to 1 hour away from each other was almost like 4 hours. He couldn’t just come over for like a couple hours just to hand out it had to be a day thing. We never went out on spontaneous dinner dates, and he only shouted me when it was something cheap. I spent so much on him and he didn’t to the same. He would constantly say he would need to check is bank account or he would comment on how much something was. He had to always ask for his Mum’s permission to see me or to do anything the involved me and I just felt like he acted like he was 12 when he is actually 20.

As much as I love him, and I will always have a little part of me that will. I felt like these things would never change and I just felt like I wasn’t strong enough for it to keep happening. I just have no one to talk to about how I’m feeling and for the past 24 hours I’ve just cried constantly because I miss him and I just want to talk to him. But I just think about all the stuff that’s lead up to this and it puts me into perspective. I just don’t know how to get over it