So my boyfriend is usually home by 11:45pm at the latest. He text an told me he will be a little late because he’s trying to buy some maryjay. Which again, isn’t abnormal, what’s abnormal to me is he doesn’t get paid until close to 1:30-3:00am. He said he’s struggling with money this week, but the day before he gets paid he can spend it on Maryjay. Which I mean as long as our daughter has everything she needs and our bills are paid idc how he spends his money. Anyways, I woke up a few moments ago. I messaged to see where he was and he called me to tell me he was on his way that dude couldn’t get anyone from his dude so they just smoked together. While he was saying this he seemed quite nervous. This was at 12:40am. He than calls back at 12:50am to ask if I wanted Taco Bell. I just had our daughter on September 30th and I am a stay at home mom.

Part of me feels like this is fishy. He’s NEVER THIS LATE. Unless him and his coworkers go out for drinks which isn’t very often.

I am paranoid that he will cheat because I can’t have sex with him and I can barely make time for myself being a ftm and learning how to balance things! I can’t seem to find a balance to cook, clean, take care of myself and the baby. So I usually only take care of her. So I feel as I am failing . Which in my head will give a guy a reason to cheat.

It may just be my PPD but idk. Any thoughts before I accuse him of something I probably made up in my head ???