Due to previous history i was in to be induced at 37+3. So about 4 days before induction i was having some braxton hicks , some painful and some not but i was hoping it meant something was happening! I go in

Monday 14th with hopes that i can go as natural as possible! So after hours of being in someone finally comes to examine me.. i was 2.5cm! Woo woo! They say they can go on to break my waters when Labour&Delivery have a room! 2 hours later i get a room and my waters get broken and a clip has to be put on my babys head as the monitor wouldn't pick up a heartbeat! After my waters are broken i get stretched to a 4 but in an hour they want to start me on the drip😩

I'm like all chill like yeah this dont hurt at much as the first time , I'm breezing it! Hour later i get checked and am a 5.. oooh this stings a little! This is not breezy! I'm adamant I've wet myself with every contraction whilst on the birthing ball ( had an epidural with #1 so this is all new! ) I'm apologising to the nice midwives for wetting myself all over the floor! That then got me asked if i suffer from incontinence which got my highly defensive 🤣🤣 Turns out i had a lot of water.

So the shift swaps at half 8 and I've probably been there 2 hours in total and the contractions are picking up , back to back! I'm begging for an epidural to which the person came in and started doing it and I'm dying! I try to sit still but it not working and I'm having a panic attack because it hurts so much and I'm only a 5! My body is in agony and bloody pushing! A midwife has to come in from the hall to tell the other midwife that it sounds like i need to push but i say no as I'm bloody scared , BUT my body betrayed me and done it anyway! I get checked and I'm a bloody 10!!! I'm screaming i cant do it and i want the gas and air back.. but noooo 🙄 The only thing that got me out of my self pity was an emotional slap if the face when the midwife told me my baby was unhappy with a heart rate of 72!! ( Average is 110-160 i think ). I will tell you now!!! I have never pushed so hard in my life to which he shot out while i was dying/ apologising for pooping which i actually didn't do! I went from 5cm to 10cm in 45 mins!!! The only unatural thing was the rupture! All on gas and air!! So glad that other midwife came in to tell them i needed to push else I'd of had an epidural i didn't originally want! Anyway

this is Lincoln weighing 7lb and 48cm long born at 9:47pm Monday 14th October 🌈💙💚🧡

I'm so inlove with him that the fear of being a single mum doesn't even scare me anymore! I'm happy i don't have to share him with anyone 💙