I’ll try to keep it short but I’m sorry if this turns into a long rant.

Okay, so my MIL hasn’t been the best mother in the past - she walked out of her three kids’ lives and only came back when she wanted the benefits/house that they could give her. However, she uses money to show ‘affection’ and rather than doing things with them in the past (they’re grown now, 27, 26, 16), she just palmed them off and bought them something. The middle son has a 2 week old and isn’t financially stable so she’s been paying for everything for them (rent, bills, car, phone etc.) and I’m sure she uses this to her advantage as now they feel indebted to her. Obviously I’m weary of this and honestly wouldn’t trust her to be alone with my son, who is currently 14 weeks.

My problem is that she doesn’t respect mine/our wishes as parents. Firstly she said she was going to dress my son up in girls clothes when she had him alone (she’s always wanted a girl and did say she dressed her middle son up as a girl when he was a baby). I said no and she just said ‘what you don’t know won’t hurt you’.

Now she’s bought up the idea of opening a bank account for my son (where she’ll only have access). The first time she mentioned it I said I was opening one and it wasn’t necessary for her have one. She told me she was doing it anyway. I dropped it. She raised it again and my husband said she doesn’t need one and she just said she’s having one and will pick the birth certificate up soon.

We can only have 2 savings accounts in my son’s name. I opened one and wanted to keep the other one incase my husband wanted to open one - you just don’t know what the future holds. Plus, if I let her have the second account that will mean no one else can - there’s my parents and my husbands dad, too. I don’t feel like it would be fair to them? Even more than this, I think it’s the principle of we’ve said no, so NO! I’m ready to put my foot down when she asks for the birth certificate again but really don’t want to seem petty? Opinions? Thoughts?

In answer to Ashley, the bank told me that. I’m from the U.K. so I’m sure it’s different over here. Plus it’s the principle - if I say no, then that means no. Being his grandmother doesn’t mean you can tell me you’re doing it anyway, which was the point I made before 🤷🏻‍♀️