AF started for me at 5am after being two/three days late. With its arrival it took away the dream of a Christmas announcement and being pregnant (with everyone knowing - past 12 weeks) on my due date of my first miscarried baby who was so badly wanted. Here marks another month of crying over social media and muting anyone who posts about their pregnancy. Another month of feeling like I’m failing my partner, my family, myself and the 2 babies that I have lost in the last 4 months. Another month of no caffeine, limited sugar, no cigarettes or alcohol just in case! This period also marks the last of all these things as I officially quit actively trying to conceive.

It’s too difficult on my mental health convincing myself every month that I won’t be disappointed and that we’ve done everything right. Tracking everything, peeing on different sticks all the time makes it even harder than it already is.

To everyone who’s been trying for years fair play to you. I hope everybody in here ends up with their BFPS & healthy babies but for now I’m deleting all my apps and I’m gonna go take back my life from TTC.

Thanks for all the advice and looking at my posts in faint lines every two or three weeks 💗

And just in case anybody feels like commenting saying like just don’t try and it’ll happen, or to ensure to make time for your partner and don’t let sex me a chore. Please don’t bother 🙏🏻