I am 30 , have never been pregnant, not married or in partnership, and have never desired children.

I have been feeling into the option to permanently remove my ability to become pregnant with getting my tubes tied. I do not dream of motherhood or see myself as a mother . I love animals and yearn for a dog or two, or even care taking rescue animals. My heart lights up at the thought of this nurturing but not of raising a child.

I have not been on hormonal birth control in 10 years, and have been using fertility awareness+withdrawal and condoms with the partners I’ve had over the years. I recently had intercourse with someone I like who’s been in my life a little while now. I’m not sure where it will go , or who else I will meet in my life but it’s bringing up frustration with my low level anxiety using fertility awareness (although I’ve had 100% success rate thus far in my life).

I become slightly paranoid and have a healthy respect toward unwanted pregnancy potential. FA + withdrawal is not exactly an air tight method plus for at least a week or two mid cycle I have to use condoms or not have intercourse (my boundaries with my self).

Condoms Just do not feel ok for me , when I’m truly close and intimate with someone in a deeper level , also they sometimes hurt. AND I don’t want to be on hormonal BC or an IUD due to the side effects I’ve encountered. I know that no one can make this decision but I am grateful to post here and hear myself think aloud. My mom and I do not have a relationship any more due to another family members drug addiction (and she may possibly have one) and she rarely returns my calls or talks to me anymore. I would talk with her about this otherwise. Any personal experiences are welcome if you feel called to share . Thank you!