Am I selfish?

Question

I am 14 weeks pregnant & I've always been very independent. But I've been thinking about my birth & honestly I would like to have just me & my s/o there for a while. I don't want my family nor do i want his there & I wanna get to spend some alone time with just the three of us before everyone starts playing hot potato with my baby. I don't wanna be rude I'd just rather us have a more privacy i guess since we haven't been getting alot of it since the pregnancy especially when it comes to his mother. His father is fine but his mother is just so overbearing i guess & i can only deal with so much of her at once. Im also in the process of thinking of baby names with my s/o & she chimes in & kept suggesting that we name the baby after her & im just getting really frustrated with her. Shes nice & means well but she's just too much. She was even explaining something about breastfeeding & then proceeded to show me her breast (mind you she is over 45 & has had 5 kids 😓) I just want a bit more privacy in my life with just me, my s/o & baby. I just know if she comes to the hospital she's gonna wanna hold the baby all the time & start coaching me on what i need to do now to rais my child & all that other stuff i dont wanna hear. I just wanna be alone with my s/o & baby. Im also 19 & so she lectures me & tries to basically "mom" me & tell me what i need to do for the baby & i feel like its because im young everyone treats me like i dont know what im doing. Is that a bad thing that i feel this way? Am i just being a bitch or what?

Answer

It’s your baby. When we went to the hospital we told no one. I dint want anyone around till after I’d given birth. I will have to listen to my mom complain till the end of time cause I robbed her of the hospital call. I don’t care. We made the decision best for our new little family. I don’t regret my decision for me, my husband and baby. You will have a lifetime of unsolicited advice, set boundaries early and stick to your guns.   Congratulations and good luck!

Answer

Your vagina your rules.

Answer

You are totally being reasonable. Everyone has there own way of coping and dealing. My husband and i have had 2 babies and had decided that it would only us. With my first, my husband aunt(who j love and helped me get through a lot) happened to be there because she was already with us. But that waa just by chance and i am thankful for her, but again it wasnt what we planned.Especially bc we both like our privacy. My sister on the other hand had her MIL our dad and mom and her husband. She told me she felt most comfortable like that. We both explained to our parents. Although i saw little bit of sadness in my mom, she understood. I love her but even with my 3rd baby, who's due on January 2020, it will only be my husband and i.
I think you should talk to you SO and let your parents and inlaws know how you feel on regards to wanting it to be a special moment between the three of you :) Hope everything goes well and congrats.

Answer

I told all my family I only wanted my bf there but my mom and sister came to  check on me during birth and then left. They came back to visit for a little bit after my daughter was born. I don't think it's selfish. I wouldn't want my mom or mother in law seeing my coochie lol so only my bf was in the room when I was giving birth. I didn't even want people coming to visit in the hospital cause I just wanted to try heal and relax without having a bunch of people around me.

Answer

I'm sure they're just trying to be helpfull. I get it will feel overwhelming and you should definitely stand strong in wanting to have that privacy, you diserve that, and you might need it.
My sister and her husband asked to not be disturbed for 3 weeks after the baby was born, they wanted that time to bond

Answer

When were you planning on having them visit? Honestly, Itll be easier in the hospital and then ask for a week alone at home. People wont stay as long at the hospital as at your house and you'll have so many nurses in and out you'll have several opportunities to kick them out.

Answer

GreAt idea

Answer

You are not being a bitch. Wanting the opportunity for your little family to bond, and to assert yourself as an adult and parent is completely normal. Talk with your s/o but don’t be afraid to put your foot down. Easier for me maybe, because I’m 31, but my husband backs me up when it comes to his family. 
You do not need to allow visitors at the hospital until you want them. I suggest that a compromise, if you want, would be to invite them for a specific time. About an hour before quiet time and then they can’t stay that long.

Answer

It's your baby, she had her time raising hers. You know what's best for your family, not her. Don't let her push you to do anything you don't want to do. You're not being a bitch, you get to be "selfish" right now, trust me in those first couple of hours after the birth you're going to want to bond with your baby and keep them close. You'll also be super hormonal, I cried everytime my baby cried for the first couple of days. Good luck with her, don't be afraid to put your foot down and make sure your partner is 100% on your side, it'll make it so much easier.

Am I selfish?

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