I think I may have PPD and anxiety.

I've talked to my SO and family and everyone minimizes it so I stayed quiet, I'm a ftm and my son is now almost 6 months old.

At first I thought I was just going through the motions like every other mom, lack of sleep, missing a meal here and there, learning the ins and outs of breast feeding, being a spouse ect. but once I hit 3 months pp I felt like i couldn't kid around with how I was feeling. I told my S.O. and he told me I was probably tired and needed a break, but with our current living arrangement and financial status, a break literally wasn't possible. With no help from him I reached out to my mom, ( who has 6 kids) thinking she'd understand since she herself dealt with depression. She asked if I was sure I was depressed and that it wasn't just my life circumstances. I told her I thought I was and she said I'd be okay it would pass.

After that I called my Drs. Office to set up an appointment but got so scared of judgement or my feelings being brushed off I ended up calling and cancelling.

Fast- forward to now, I have an almost 6 month old who I love more than anything in this universe. I still feel lonely, unheard and like I can't tell anyone. I can't tell you guys how many times I opened this app to share this, then erased everything I typed cause I was scared of so many things or how many times I wanted to cry but couldn't. I try my hardest to keep negative thoughts away and to control the anxious feelings and thoughts I have on a regular basis and I'm trying to make a change but it's hard when no one in my family will talk about it with me or attempt to understand and I feel like disappearing sometimes.

Ultimately I just want to ask for some words of encouragement. It doesn't have to be a lot, or even just for me, but to ANY and EVERY one going through something they feel like they can't get through or tell anyone about.

Thank you to anyone who read this far. It felt so good to get this off my chest.