All my life I have never been the one to connect with happiness at all and honestly I feel like an outsider of the world itself and I know that other people have similar or maybe worse of an issue but I think that I could possibly be on an edge of depression like I’ve seen and read things about people being depressed for years and so on but I don’t think that I’m capable of happiness I think all that’s consumed in me is anger and sorrow and I don’t want that at all I want to be free I want to be included I want to be able to cry tears of joy for once I don’t ever want to be known or identified as toxic or bitter that’s not who I want to be. Every morning I wake up and start my day at school and I see my peers in a more “better “ condition than I am and I understand that I cannot make a judgement of that just from an appearance because not everything is what It seems but if that’s true I wonder how you can make an individual situation not overshadow their outside appearance (if that makes sense) what I’m trying to say is that I go to school and Through my eyes my peers are in a more healthier mindset like they seem to be doing quite well physically and mentally and it makes me think if I’m being punished for whatever reasons, I just want to be happy