Am i that terrible??

Mo

My husband and I have been having issues in the bedroom for years. He’s admitted he’s selfish and only has sex whenever he feels like and and doesn’t really care if I want to. Basically we have sex once or twice a month. I’ve been 19-23 years old since we’ve been intimate so I still feel like having sex way more than that. WAY more than that. As in every other day y’all.

-I barely ever initiate anything anymore and any time I try, I get immediately rejected.

-I’ve told him it makes me insecure that he really doesn’t have much attraction to me, or even care to try to. He blows me off.

-I’ve told him I have a very high drive and that maybe we can meet in the middle? Maybe once or twice a week and just try to get in the gist of a more fulfilling sex life?

-I told him it makes me feel sad and distant from him to have no physical contact besides maybe some cuddling. (He’s the type of guy to never initiate even a HUG or say anything nice to me ever).

Y’all I tried one last time because it’s been a minute since the last time and thought I might not get turned down. All I did was touch his chest and he says mockingly “NO, you’re rejected” and gets tense like it’s gross or something. You know when someone you don’t like tries to hug you? That feeling.

I basically flipped. That one glass of wine tonight got me going and I said:

“the amount of porn I have to watch to make up for what you lack is ridiculous. I’ve been telling you for years this problem will come between us.”

So yeah, that’s exactly what i think but I’m still a huge bitch for saying it. I just find myself feeling so emotionally and physically unfulfilled. He’s not even there emotionally and it’s like I don’t matter in any way.

I’m unhappy, he knows I am and he doesn’t care. Maybe it’s time to throw away 5 years of my youth, and leave my sons father. Obviously if it hasn’t changed yet, it probably won’t. We don’t deserve this.

I feel like I’m just a roommate or a FWB at best. It’s crushing. What’s wrong with me to make me feel this useless