What Is Wrong With Me

My husband surprised me with flowers today.

And I complained.

What the hell. This isn’t like me. I usually get so happy and excited about things like this! But everything he does... I can find a reason to be angry or complain. Even if I just make it up out of nowhere.

It’s really making me hate myself.

(Was on antidepressants, but stopped taking them as I became constantly panicked all the time & was much worse. Also, I have a strong history of psych meds not working and I do not want to go through that trial and error again)