Feeling down

I'm just posting here because my husband doesn't really understand how I feel to well. He's a great man but he doesn't do to well with feelings.

So anyway I'm just feeling really down and depressed about having pcos. Ik it's a life long thing but just the thought about never having another baby hurts. I'm 23 I feel like I should have a lot of life left in me...but the news of having pcos was like a big a$$ punch to my gut.

My periods were normal before I first got pregnant in 2015 but after I got my iud out I was all messed up. I wasn't to awfully big in weight. But now things went in a down hill fall.

I just feel hopeless. I'm doing almost everything besides clomid (and I've read a lot of down sides to it). I just have (had) the absent periods and a slight higher levels of hormones. No cysts or any of that. And yet I feel like the year and 5 months was washed down the drain. 4 months of metformin and yes I've had 3 periods on my own since I started it. Ik I haven't been trying for long as many of you ladies. But I still can't shake it off my mind.