My husband is constantly sleeping, Do I have a right to be upset?

Question

So we moved to a completely different state mainly because my husband wanted to and he figured the money would be better. So he has a different job and he has to work 10 hours shifts, 4 days a week. And he works 3rd shift. During the weeks he gets home around 7 am and goes to sleep at 9 am and sleeps until 6 pm. Even though he has to leave for work at 7 pm. On his days off, he sleeps all through the night with me, then he wants to nap on top of that usually from 12 pm -5/6pm. I feel like I’m doing this all alone, I am so so so lonely and I miss the help and spending time with him. I have no one in this state. I care for our 15 month old 24/7. I feel like he is sleeping so much, I get that he’s tired but I barely get any time with him or to myself. I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this. It is putting such a strain on our relationship, and he thinks I’m just emotional and he doesn’t get it. You can comment your thoughts on it, if you would like. It would help a lot.

Answer

That's 11 hours of sleep. I'd say that's ridiculous

Answer

It sounds like he’s worsening his sleep cycles, tbh. Shift work sucks, I used to do it. The key, for me anyway, was maintaining a regular sleep pattern on my shift days and not sleeping too much on my off-days. Long naps just screw up your night sleep and make you more tired. 
Regardless, he needs to work with you on finding a schedule that allows both of you to function and be a unit.

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5/6  hour nap?? That's a full blown sleep!!

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I feel like he’s sleeping too much. I worked 14hr shifts 6 days a week and also a single mom and didn’t sleep until 10pm since that’s when my 1 year old sleeps. He’s being lazy

Answer

He sleeps all night and then naps for 5 hours on his days off? Dude might need to eat his wheaties or get some bloodwork done, or be evaluated for depression because he should be able to function without napping that long. He basically spends all his time sleeping. 
Mine works 12 hr shifts. 3 days, then three days off, leading into 3 night shifts. He gets home just before 6am. Lets the dog out. Maybe lights a fire in the furnace. Goes to bed and is up by noon usually. He doesn’t nap although sometimes I wish he would.

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I understand how you feel but working 3rd shift drains the life out of you.

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Maybe he's depressed! :(

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He’s definitely sleeping way too much. He gets about 9 hrs on days he works. That’s more than some people with a 9-5. My husband and I are lucky to get 6 or 7 hrs and we don’t even have kids yet. 
My sister’s husband works 3rd shift but he always makes sure he hangs out with his daughter, takes her to daycare, make dinner and then sleep while my sister works during the day.
You guys need to find your rhythm. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for my sister and her husband to adjust in the beginning, but they’ve made it work and they’ve been doing this since their daughter was born. 
Have a sit down talk and make him understand that you both need to work on this for both your sanity and relationship. He’s sleeping too much and his body isn’t adjusting properly. Either that or he’s having other issues that require a doctors visit.

Answer

You should start exercise if together. Take the little one to the gym daycare and that can be date time for you 2. It will give him more energy and regulate his sleep schedule. If he says no, start going alone. You need a break too and it’s sounds like he doesn’t do much to help with the baby. Leave them home and let him take care of the kid while you go make friends at the gym. He’ll eventually join you.

Answer

Get a job so you both have a better balance then.

My husband is constantly sleeping, Do I have a right to be upset?

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