Wake up: Random pain, twitch, feeling.

Like my temperature, my hope rises.

Every day waiting, praying, testing.

Taking vitamins. I feel strong.

....

This time it’s for real, this time it’s ours.

Abstain from drinking, sex, anything that numbs.

Meditate. Move. Feel one with my soul.

Essential oils adorn my skin.

....

It’s happening, how could it not?

I’ve timed everything right. I’ve got the charts.

Receipts, for the last year.

Showcasing our misfortune.

....

Every month, waiting… Tick tock.

Did you know 2 weeks is 336 hours?

But who am I kidding?

I’ve been testing for days.

....

It’s been long enough right? Yes.

Quiet. Look away. Distract myself.

Did you know 5 minutes is 300 seconds?

That’s a lot of pretending.

....

One line, again. Alone. I knew it.

Damn. Fuck! Hey, you never know.

You’re not out until you’re out.

Be more patient, be chill. Stop testing.

....

Smile. Don’t think about it.

Go out, have fun, unwind.

Stop charting, it’s better. Let go.

What’s meant to be will be.

....

Get home, unwind. Check charts.

I’ve timed everything right.

Wake up. Random pain, twitch, feeling.

Like my temperature, my hope drops.

....

Repeat.