I'm so frustrated with my PCOS. I was 1 week late before my period showed up. I was extremely hopeful this would finally be our month after I had my chemical pregnancy back in March. What was going to be my due date for that pregnancy is coming up here in Novembe, I'm devastated to say the least. Hoidays have always been a big deal and now its just so sad. A reminder of what would have been. I'm mad at myself for not being able to get pregnant! I've tracked with OPKS and used presseed. I've done the "let go and let God" route. I've talked and prayed with my doctor. I'm mad that God gives me all these signs and makes me feel itll happen soon then it doesnt. This period has been probably one of the most depressing and devastating. I still love God, and always will.. I'm just disappointed right now. I know he has big plans for us but Jesus Christ why cant my body concieve as easily as these other women?? Typing this is hard. As my eyes fill with tears I feel myself almost unable to put into words the devastation I'm feeling. Its my dream to be a mother and yet I feel it slipping away. I feel like giving up yet I just cant let that dream go because I want it so desperately. I dont know how to make these cysts on my ovaries go away. I've considered Maca but I've also heard mixed things about it for women with PCOS. I'm so depressed at this point. I feel totally hopeless. I'm tired of crying to my loved ones about the same thing. They dont know what more to say and it just feels like itll be another generic response. No matter my eating choices this weight stays on. I fluctuate but for the most part it wont drop which I am sure only hurts my chances. Women that had later due dates then I are getting ready to give birth. Posting their count downs.. I thank God every time I see their excited posts for him blessing them in such a huge way but I also cry because why not me?

Maybe I am being over emotional but today I was shopping and this lady was so rude to me infront of her kids because I was in her way? (It was three of them taking up the whole area I needed to get to and just me). I got in the car after I got what I needed and cried. Why do such hateful negative people get to have these kids only to model that sort of hateful behavior infront of them? I just want to get healthy and make my dream become reality and yet here I am on glow hoping someone will help me feeling like my body's not going to make any changes I need it to. I NEVER really thought I would have this much trouble conceiving. Never.