Is our parenting strategy messed up?

I just got ripped into by some nasty lady on here because I said my husband and I mutually don’t allow masturbation and porn in our marriage, and my husband started to really commit to this when our son was born.

This lady asked if my husband was going to tell our son that he doesn’t masturbate and I said I couldn’t see it ever coming up but if it did, of course he’d tell him the truth. She started laying into me like “Your husband is going to tell your son he doesn’t masturbate?! Your son would never ask about that! Why would he tell him that?” She said we were a “strange family” and said I was controlling and didn’t “allow” my man to pleasure himself.

I’m just so frustrated. I feel like some sort of freak because we have different moral standards in our family. We’re not planning on forcing them on our children though.

My husband was not a virgin when we met and regrets that decision, but he’s actually very grace-focused and doesn’t really appreciate the guilt and shame in Christian circles regarding having sex before marriage and the like. I was sexually abused as a child so I feel that guilt and shame and “once it’s gone you can’t get it back” mentality actually made it more difficult to come forward about my abuse.

I feel like there’s not a lot of truth to her words, right? But it’s hard not to take it personally...