Hello, I am here posting this because I have found that I don’t have any friends around me or anybody to really support me besides my sister or family.

I am looking for support, please do not bash as I am already a fragile person in need so please no harsh comments.

Every relationship that I’ve had I have either lost it because of low maintenance and because I feel like their lack of energy wasn’t full filling enough or I needed something else to fullfill me, for example a boy. For years and years I have used boys to when I say boys I mean men I am 24 years old. But when I say boys I mean that I have used them in a way that has filled voids for friendships. In the long run it is hurting me more as I remember my past years in high school and even college of friendships that I could’ve made last but I just didn’t. I guess in some fucked up way in my mind I don’t want to give myself anything until I know I have my forever person. So every relationship with a girl that I have had I have never maintained it or I just let it go because the energy that I get back is not the same as what I put into that relationship. So now I’m sitting here haven’t done shit all weekend I’ve had the house to myself I am 24 years old, haven’t left my house since Friday. I don’t really know what to do anymore as to making friends I know I need to join things but at this point, scared of joining anything because of my low confidence and low self-esteem of not being able to keep friends around me. I know it’s only me holding me back at this point but I cannot overcome these certain challenges within myself. If anybody can relate or sees this post out there and thinks of something that I could do that would be great. I am a very fit person and I love working out I go to the gym at least once a day but that’s all that I really do, I go to the gym and I come back. If anybody has any groups for me to join to subtly get me into that I would love to hear those ideas. Thanks for reading❣️