Step Family advice

Hey all,

I’ve been married for 4 years. My husband and I both have children from previous relationships. We’re due to have our first child together any day now.

My husbands son is 10. My children are 12, 10, and 7.

His son has always lived with his mother across the states. He visits us for summer and holiday breaks. But has been showing signs of neglect. So we want to bring him to live with us full time now.

My husband says he wants to take his son to Hawaii this summer. I stopped working and we plan on me staying home to care for the children for the first 6-8 months. My earnings have stopped but I still contribute to bills and what not from my savings.

Flash forward to the Hawaii trip. 🤨

I can’t afford to pay for myself and 3 children to fly there and pay towards the air b&b. I suggested we go to Cancun because I can afford that.

Husband says no. He promised his son Hawaii so Hawaii it is. If I can’t afford to go, he’s still going with his son.

Our kids are very jealous of each other. They’re struggling to come together as step siblings because of their limited time together.

My main goal is that we really submerge our families and be completely inclusive of each other, bond, and build this household to be equal and loved across the board.

My children would be jealous their step dad and brother get to go to Hawaii and we don’t. It feels strange because we’re a family and should take family trips together. But I know he’s missed out on time with his son and keeping a promise is a must. I feel he should have talked with me about this trip before promising. He knows I can’t afford it. He knows he can’t afford a trip to Hawaii for all 7 of us.

I just don’t feel like he’s being all inclusive with my children. I’d never take my kids on a trip knowing he and his son can’t go!?

Am I wrong for not agreeing with his vacation plan? Should I just take my kids to Mexico while he goes to Hawaii and not feel upset about this?

Update. Thank you for the comments. I was able to use your words to help guide what I was saying to not sound like I was calling him out in my own usually words. He realized my concern and understood my worry here.

We cancelled Hawaii and are doing a more affordable family trip!

Also mentioned how we need to work on our “we”, “ours”, and “us”.. he agrees.

Thank you ❤️