Sex Troubles

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. For the past few months we have been trying to spice up our sex life to keep things fresh. About a month ago, while having sex he was a little too rough with me(hard hair pulling and holding my hips so I would ride him harder and faster) in the moment and I said “babe” intending for him to take that as oh I’ll slow down but he misunderstood me and thought that was me saying I liked it so he kept going. I proceeded to freak out because rape and losing control sexually is one of my biggest fears. He didn’t understand what happened but a few hours later I was able to vocalize why I freaked out and why I was upset. He apologized profusely and it truly was a mistake. He is no way aggressive with me, we were just trying out some new things. After that I was ok to have sex but only in missionary.

Fast forward to last week when my school held a march and rally for domestic violence and sexual assault. I attended because it is something I’m very passionate about and would like to base my career around. I was part of the planning process so my boyfriend came to support me and the cause. I don’t know what happened during that event but it made me not want sex at all no matter what position it was. I thought that it was just that night because of how powerful the event was but it has continued for almost a week now. I am a very sexual person and like sex so this is unusual for me. I have tried to have sex with him but it ended with me freaking out because I’m not 100% into it. I’m very nervous that I’m going to begin mentally checking out of the relationship and push myself away. I really love him and want to work through this situation but don’t know where to begin.

I also again want to reiterate that he didn’t rape me or intend for me to feel this way. It was a misunderstanding and we talked through it and it’s never going to happen again.