First break up

Hello friends, I recently broke up with my first boyfriend of 2 years. I don’t think I am handling it well. I think I miss been in a relationship the most not him per day but I don’t want to jump from relationship to another. I don’t have friends that I can turn too and the sad thing is I let this person be the source of my happiness. I lost my virginity to him got pregnant and had an abortion which is something I said I never would do. I am going crazy I have done things outside of my character in this relationship. I am aware the break up is good but I have so many resentment and I want him to pay for being me into this. The story is too long to type out.