Am I being to emotional?

My boyfriend can't see himself marrying me or having children with me. Both marriage and children are something I would like to have/do some day. He doesn't plan much and really has no idea where he wants to be even in the next year.

I'm 20 about to be 21, and I'm not trying to get married right now, nor am I at all capable enough to raise a child at this point. I'm still in college and I plan on going to medical school. But the fact that he doesn't know what he wants from me or with me makes me upset.

We were together for 1.5 years then we broke up because he couldn't handle commitment. Then he came to me 3 months later to do "us" again and that he said he would be a better boyfriend and be more emotionally available and so we talked, tried it out and we got back together. But now, were having this conversation that we used to have before, about the fact that he doesn't see anything long term. He says that he couldn't see anything long term with anyone and that I shouldn't take it personal. But, it is personal. This is our relationship and the fact that he doesn't know when or where he wants to break up with me, makes me uneasy. It makes me worry about when my heart it going to be broken for the second time. It makes me feel like I am in this relationship ultimately to get hurt again.

He doesn't tell me he loves me. He won't say the words, ever. He'll say love is shown, not spoken (which I understand, but fuck me, isn't nice to just hear someone say the fucking words every once in a while).

The more I think about it, the more upset I get. Because if at the end of the day if he doesn't know if he wants to be with me, then I'm wasting my time.

I'm not saying that at 20 I think I'll be woth him for the rest of my life. I'm not saying we have to get married, but if that's not something he wants or thinks about and those are things I want and think about, then staying in this relationship is going to make the both of us unhappy.

I love him, he's my first everything and he's been such a big part of my short lived life. I can't imagine life not knowing him, but I won't do this again. Not for a second time. I don't want this relationships end goal to be a break up, because that is what it feels like.

(I feel like is a bit all over the place, so I'm sorry if this is sort of a mess)

Edit:

It doesn't really matter to me that he doesn't want to get married, but it's the fact that long term, married or not is something he doesn't want. Essentially that means he doesn't want a relationship. What does that mean now? Like are we not even a relationship now?